Growing Pains for Parents

This morning's solemn farewell to Caelyn brought on many tears. When we first began homeschooling back in 1997, I used Psalm 133:1 as the basis for a lesson on the crucial nature of forming strong sibling bonds:

"How good and pleasant it is

when brothers live together in unity!"

I find it significant that the Psalmist punctuated that statement with an exclamation point. He then compared that unity, in verse 3, to the effect of dew on Mt. Zion and proclaimed,

"For there the LORD bestows his blessing,

even life forevermore."

This is not to be taken lightly. It is an important part of God's message to His people; and we have taken it to heart with our children, reminding them that they are to dwell together in unity -- "harmony" in some translations -- and in so doing, honor the Messiah. Because our children have been each other's first and best friends since birth, it was very difficult for our four younger children to say good-bye to their oldest sister this morning.

It was a quiet ride back to my parents' house as I pondered the fact that we, as parents, experience some growing pains of our own. We recognize, as in Psalm 127, that our children are arrows, which means that they are not meant to adorn the quiver forever. We are to aim them straight, bringing them up in the "training and instruction of the Lord" (Ephesians 6:4), to be released into the will of the God, Who prepared in advance the good works that He has created them in Christ Jesus to do (Ephesians 2:10).

Craig Grayson was very self-controlled as he gave Caelyn one last hug good-bye. He is so tender-hearted, but he maintained his composure well.

Morgan has been pensive for the entire day, no doubt wondering how life will be for these next three months without her best friend.

As I hugged her, I had a desperate feeling, as if I've forgotten to complete some crucial task or that I've failed to prepare her in some way. I kissed her soft cheeks one last time, hoping to recall how it feels until the next opportunity.

I can only imagine how it felt for Craig to escort Caelyn into the terminal. There is a special bond between a father and his daughter, and as far as I'm concerned, words fail to convey the mystery. Many women joke that they wish that their husbands could experience the pain of childbirth. For tender fathers like Craig, I imagine that same pain comes in releasing a daughter into the will of God -- in this case, serving a family in an earlier stage of the process.

Joyful Hearts, Teary Eyes, Full Bellies

*I'm editing to add this photo, which I LOVE! I hope it's OK. I "borrowed" it from our sweet friend.

I've put it off long enough. It's now time to face it: Caelyn leaves in less than twelve hours. My mind has been flooded with many thoughts about this decision that took months to reach, but I've been unable to organize them into a blog post. Really, it would take several blog posts, so I'll just offer the bottom line up front.

While most are still sleeping tomorrow morning (at least, those in the western hemisphere), we will be taking Caelyn to the airport to embark on a new adventure. She'll spend the next three months helping friends of ours in Alaska. Craig and I wrestled with the decision, taking every minute of the time allotted to weigh the idea. In the end, despite the deep sadness we'll feel as we bid her farewell, we've concluded that it is a good decision to allow her to go and serve this young family.

I've tried to imagine what it'll be like to get up every morning and not hear her greeting; to not see her laughing and chatting as she and Morgan prepare lunch each day; to not ask her to drive to the store for me; to not hear her insight during our Bible time; to not see her beautiful face, or consult with her on dinner ideas, or ask her fashion advice, or see her reading on her bed. I simply cannot imagine daily experiencing her absence for three months. Still, we agree that this venture will be mutually beneficial, and we trust God to continue the good work He has begun in each of us during this temporary separation.

Since our sewing machine has finally arrived from Moçambique ("Somebody say, 'Yeeaaaaahhh!'"), I wanted to make something for her to take. Last year when my "little" cousin, Courtney, left for college, I came up with an idea to make a Fledgling Flight Kit. In Courtney's case, this included a laundry bag, journal, Starbucks gift card, and something else that escapes my memory at the moment.

Since Caelyn's "flight" pattern will differ from Courtney's, I just made her a laundry bag. I'm a bit disappointed that I didn't finish it in time for Amy's Sew & Tell, but I'll just link it up next Friday. Anyway, I couldn't remember exactly how I made the last laundry bag, so I did a bit of improv. I'm pleased with the result, and I have to toot my horn for having such a productive morning yesterday. All three girls had spent the night with Craig's parents, so Craig, the boys, and I started our day on the trail with Rhodes. I managed to get in a trail run, shower, wash my hair, sew a laundry bag, and assemble broccoli salad all in time to make it to Craig's family reunion in the afternoon!

Black/White/Red is one of Caelyn's favorite color combinations. Score! (She loved it.)

I wasn't the only one laboring for Caelyn this weekend. Grandma and Pap had their own contribution to the farewell process: Smiles.

Yummy, sweet, chocolate chip smiles

Succulent homemade barbeque smiles

Delectable shrimp/pasta salad smiles (courtesy of Grandma)

Grilled, marinated chicken smiles

Spicey, cheesey, oozey smiles

In addition to yummy food, we had our hearts and minds nourished with some good family discussions on the deck.

Graham was pretty tired, but he listened intently as Dad and the girls talked.

Morgan is going to miss having her best friend around; but I know that she'll do a wonderful job of taking on the role of the oldest child until Caelyn returns.

Part of our discussion time involved listening to an encouraging song by Third Day and looking at photos on the computer.

After our fabulous dinner with Grandma and Pap, we all reminisced of funny stories of the children when they were small. The years have passed too quickly, but I'm grateful for the blessing of being wife to Craig and mother to these amazing children! Please pray for us tomorrow morning if you think of it. We'll be missing Caelyn.

Breakfast at Pappy's

Ebelskivers

This morning, my dad blessed us with a marvelous brunch. One of his favorite new kitchen hobbies is ebelskivers, or filled pancakes. What before I only heard described via Skype, I've now experienced. And wow! Are they yummy! We had our choice between strawberry jam-filled and apple-filled. Of course, I had both. I'm really thankful, too, that we left our stash of Vermont maple syrup with my parents, although I opted for agave nectar on mine.

The males in our family were especially pleased to have both bacon AND sausage with our brunch, as well as Pappy's perfect scrambled eggs. I added kefir to my ensemble, and a good time was had by all.

After refusing to follow my advice about using the Bosch to magically whip up the egg whites, Daddy called on me to finish fluffing them with the hand mixer. (sigh) He knows now. Anyway, after folding them in, the batter foretold of tasty times ahead.

Daddy whipped up this apple filling.

The anticipation was killing us!

I love my dad. And I love his love of working in the kitchen.

From the Archives

This photo was taken about a year and a half ago -- before my seven-pound African weight gain, when my tummy was actually flat -- while we were staying with my parents. When I began my apron frenzy, I was keeping a different blog and posted about it there. My mom brought out this beautiful specimen to show me that I'm not the first woman in our family to take an interest in apron making.

My great-grandmother, Jesse, used to busy herself crocheting useful items for the extended family, and this beauty is one of her creations. Mom says that this apron is about my age. Today it became my own. Woo-Hoo!

Ready to Nest

It won't be long now, although it feels like it'll never come. We should be in a home in just over two weeks. Oh, what fun it'll be to unpack all of our trappings that have been in storage for over a year now. Two years ago when we moved from our ("sweet") home in Alabama, I had been thinking that I wanted to replace some things and redecorate. Redecorating is SO not in our budget, nor will it be for a little while. The good thing about being away from our household goods for a period of time is that it'll all seem new.

I've been daydreaming about arranging furniture and envisioning my daily routine, which I'm just itching to resume (especially the sewing part). The girls and I really look forward to busying ourselves in the new kitchen. Sadly, Caelyn will have to wait until December, since she'll be heading to Alaska just days before we move.

This morning, Caelyn shared with me a link that made me laugh so hard, although I thought for a moment that I should perhaps be offended. It pokes fun at those of us catalog shoppers who continually look for new home decor ideas. I appreciate this light-hearted approach at putting all of the "stuff" into its proper perspective. Still, I look forward to creating a homey space of ministry where friends and family may gather and be loved, fed, entertained, and edified.

Click. Laugh. Decorate. :-)

Call Me "Heroine"

I sew. I cook. I bake. I teach. I love. And... I rescue cats from trees. Especially when it's my dog that treed her. And when I'm one of two in our family who isn't allergic to cats. So, when Rhodes terrorized one of my dad's cats this afternoon, I cast aside my cautious ways and climbed the ladder.

I reeeeeeally trust this man!

Of course, Jill had to pick a tree with NO lower branches to run from Rhodes.

When I almost had her, Rhodes showed up again. When I turned to look at him, I heard from Jill the most unnerving sound I've ever heard from any creature. She meant business! I won't identify the individuals who let Rhodes loose, but my daughters quickly put him in his pen. ;-)

I finally got her down, but she wanted some time alone. So, we gave it to her. I'm pretty sure that I'll forever be her favorite family member. I'm also pretty sure that the next time Rhodes gets any ideas about Jill, he'll have the reminder on his nose that he should keep his distance from her.

Getting Older

Is anyone still reading my blog? I hope so! I'm sure that I should be posting about our recent transition from Africa to America, but I have several excuses for continuing to procrastinate. (And oh! How I miss the Sew & Tell group!) In the meantime, I keep getting ideas for other, non-travel-related posts, but I end up not writing about them, since I feel guilty for neglecting the topic of our move. In the end, I do nothing; so today, I'm going with my inspiration.

Today, I'm faced with the reality that I'm getting older. It's really OK with me. I don't think too much about my age. I'm actually rather young; but, by God's goodness, I've crammed a whole lot of life into these (just under) four decades. Very often, people mistake me for one of our daughters' sisters, which cracks me up. After all, I was there for every birth, so I know that I'm the mom. Still, with the way things change all the time, I'm starting to feel older than I actually am.

In my childhood, I actually held an 8-track in my hand. My Aunt Suzie used to take me to buy penny candy. I can recall seeing the space shuttle disaster, carrying the school teacher, Christa McCauliffe, although I'm not sure why I was at home watching it on TV rather than in school. I can remember the very first CD I ever saw. I can recall my mother's face when my brother first played a rap song for her. When Craig and I got married and moved away, we were amazed to return two years later and learn about a handy little tool called email. Our children find it odd that we never had cell phones in our youth. So, in their eyes, we're pretty old.

These days, I still measure my age by the improvement of products. When I first nursed my babies, I wore a nursing cover that was basically a receiving blanket with a velcro strap. Now, I make the fancy "foo-foo" kind with D-rings, a pocket for the nursing pad, and other unique details, depending on the fabric and my mood. Maternity clothes were quite un-hip when I was still bearing children, too. (Or maybe I was too poor to shop in the cute mommy boutiques in those days.) I've been a mother long enough now to see my daughters shop for the same kinds of fashion that I wore in the 1980s. (That's really rather cruel.)

With the advent of blogging, there's plenty of practical advice at everyone's fingertips for organizing a home, feeding a baby, eating healthful food, disciplining children, and every other aspect of stay-at-home life. When our children were small, I had to order books on these subjects or ask one of the (very few) experienced women in my life for advice.

It has been 366 days since we landed in Maputo, Moçambique, and 11 days since arriving back in Pittsburgh. Lots of things have changed in that time, including our perspective on some things. One small improvement that we've noticed is that we no longer lose our XM radio signal traveling through the Fort Pitt tunnel on our way into the city. Another insignificant change is in the Williams-Sonoma catalog. A new copy arrived in the mail at my parents' house -- where we're staying until we find a house -- and it was a bit disappointing. Perhaps it's because the layout just isn't as good as it used to be, or perhaps it's because I'm not as thrilled with those things as I was before spending a year in a developing country... Naaaaaahhh!

A few years ago, after about 14 years of marriage, I was finally able to buy the food processor of my choice. When I used it once or twice, I marveled at how I had been able to manage without it for so long! We use it nearly every day. I'm so thankful for this machine, as I am all of my fun kitchen gadgets. I was a bit shaken, though, when I spied the latest version of it in the catalog. I bought this a few years ago...

But the catalog now offers this...

The same is true of my Bosch Universal Mixer. I sold my Kitchen Aid in order to get this about ten years ago, and many loaves of fresh, whole wheat bread have been produced as a result...

The next generation of whole grain users will have this lovely model to enjoy...

Even my lovely (red!) Vita-Mix now comes in a gorgeous brushed stainless steel option that wasn't available two years ago when I made my purchase. Am I bitter? Of course not! I should hope that by the time my daughters' husbands buy these very useful gadgets for them, they'll have something that doesn't look like it came out before the iPod.