Grocery Store Discipleship

In just over a week, we will have been Texans for six months. (Well, that's if you don't get too technical and require a TX driver's license to make it official.)

This. Place. Is. Vast.

I depend a lot on my GPS these days in order to run my usual errands.

Some folks use Costco for "bulk" purchases, but with the size of our family (and our appetites), it's part of our regular grocery shopping.

It's taken a while, but I'm finally over the fact that the nearest Costco is located in the city. 

About 25 miles away.

In lots of traffic.

On Costco Day, I'm always sure to take along at least one helper from my "staff of volunteers". Yesterday, Craig Grayson packed his school books and joined me. We covered a lot of ground, and by the time we got to our final stop (Target), he opted to stay in the truck and finish his school work.

He had earned the break. That boy can pack a mean trunk!

I can remember when it was my life's dream to be able to shop alone. I used to think that it was so unfortunate that we didn't have family nearby and couldn't afford regular babysitters to keep the children so that I might enjoy a child-free day of running errands.

Nowadays, I beg for a companion.

It's now clear to me that it wasn't at all unfortunate that I didn't have anyone to ease what seemed a burden to me at the time.

As much as I longed for a shopping trip without car seats, strollers, reprimands, and taking head-counts at regular intervals, I'm thankful that the children and I didn't miss the lessons involved.

I'll admit that if I had been offered the help, I would have taken it; but we spend so much effort trying to alleviate what God intended for us to bear. 

(ref. Genesis 3:16-19)

Women no longer have to endure the pain of childbirth if we don't want to. Most go as far as to say that they don't even want to have children, or at least not very many.

Men no longer toil for the sustenance of the family as they once did. Labor is no longer valued as a means of provision. These days, time is money, and no one breaks a sweat while sending emails or making calls.

Likewise, moms who are able to stay at home with their children often forfeit the teachable moment that comes from including them on the shopping trip (or doing chores or baking or serving guests...). Someone else is left to pacify the children in order to lighten Mom's load. This isn't inherently bad, in itself - we are called to bear one another's burdens, but we must be wise about which ones to bear.

I understand the value of help, and I encourage my daughters to help other mothers of young children when the need arises.

Deuteronomy 6 tells parents to diligently teach God's commands to children "when you sit in your house, and when you walk by the way, and when you lie down, and when you rise." (ESV)

How will children learn to be obedient in social settings if someone is always keeping them in the sterile environment of the toy room while mom goes "by the way" without them?

Nap time and scheduling are important; but giving our children opportunities to learn proper behavior and be reminded that the world doesn't bend to the whim of one boy or girl, is even more important. 

The grocery store is a perfect training ground for learning to "love your neighbor as yourself". 

My children's formative years were spent on Army posts, for the most part. This meant that we'd often encounter elderly retirees in the commissary, which offered the perfect opportunity to teach the children to "stand up before the gray head and honor the face of an old man" (Leviticus 19:32). 

When it comes to teaching children to be considerate of others, opportunities abound in a grocery aisle. I can't venture a guess at the number of times I've repeated this statement: 

"Stay to one side. Don't block the entire aisle. We're not the only ones here. Be considerate of other shoppers."

If children are allowed to join mommy for her errands - and required to be obedient - after a while, not only will it gradually become less daunting to "handle" them in public, but they'll even learn how to be helpful. 

Children should be regarded as producers, rather than merely as consumers. They are meant to be a blessing; but left to the toy room, they'll be hindered from opportunities to learn to be responsible and respectful when out.

Joining Mom on errands also prepares the children for learning to respond to others (safely by Mom's side, of course), look them in the eye, and respond coherently.

"So, is school out already?"

"No, Sir. We're homeschooled."

"Oooooooohhhhh....."

(By the way, learning to respond graciously to unsolicited opinions or snide remarks from others is another lesson best learned in the grocery store, and could be a blog post in itself. Oh. Yeah. I already did that here.)

An important thing to remember is that it is God Who sends these treasured arrows to us, and it is His Word that teaches us how to instruct them. What a comfort it is to know that He is patient with us as His children, and patiently guides us as we learn to parent according to His Word. As a mother (who is still in the process), I'm continually encouraged by these verses:

"And let us not grow weary of doing good, for in due season we will reap, if we do not give up." 

Galatians 6:9

"He Who calls you is faithful; He will surely do it."

1 Thessalonians 5:24

Remember, mothers, that God is concerned with our training as well as that of our children. He leads us as we lead them, and He uses the challenges of motherhood to teach us to trust Him.

Regarding our children:

"... in humility, count others more significant than yourselves. Let each of you look not only to his own interests, but also to the interests of others." 

Philippians 2:3-4

Let's be interested in training our children diligently.

May the Lord richly bless you as you aim your "arrows" for His glory!

My Birthday Weekend

Here it begins: the final lap of my thirties.

When I was in my twenties, I was so excited about turning 30. I was eager to put into practice the lessons I learned as a younger woman.

Now, I'm looking forward to my forties, hoping to gain a little more respect wisdom.

Although I'm still very young (and don't you forget it!), I'm starting to notice that I'm not 25 anymore.

The evidence:

* I now use an eyebrow pencil.

* I now use a roll-on puffiness/dark circle remover around my eyes. 

(That was hard to admit.)

* I'm older than my dentist. Significantly.

("Like, totally!")

* I spend a lot of time thinking about the fact that one of my sons is now sporting a moderate Mohawk.

* I often solicit my daughters' input in choosing attire for some occasions.

* Hip pain sometimes causes me to lose sleep, and I just may have to give up running, for keeps.

* When I organize storage areas, I separate items into "Give Away", "Sell", "Throw Away", and "Keep for Future Grandchildren".

* My storytelling often includes lines like, "Well, my generation..."

But I'm not scared! Bring it! I have about five gray hairs - maybe - and I'm proud! The wrinkles on my face are from laughing, because my family cracks me up. I love these people, and I'm grateful for every minute I've spent taking care of them.

Just check out how we celebrated my birthday (which, by the way, was Friday. The 30th. You'll want to make a note of that.)

I got to start a week in advance. I needed a dress for a certain event, and Craig took me to one of my "go-to" stores. People often ask me if I sew clothes. I answer that it would take all the fun out of shopping for them!

On "the big day", we went into the city with Craig. While the boys got haircuts, the rest of us went to a really great nearby cafe to wait.
Don't be deceived by the commonplace appearance of this coffee drink (nor offended by its presentation). It is "The Black Eye": dark coffee with two shots of espresso, and a little cream 'cause that's how I roll.

Isn't that some scar on my knee? It's a reminder of much younger days, when a friend and I flipped a car.

Caelyn was the only one brave enough to try the "Black Eye" with me.

I'm glad that Morgan, the photographer, made it into a photo.

Here's C-Whit, chillin' while awaiting his drink at the cafe.

After stopping by Craig's office for a few minutes (just to make it look good), and waiting even longer for the boys' haircut excursion, we headed to a fabulous Vietnamese restaurant for lunch. Pictured here is the #1. Can't wait to have it again! My actual lunch, though, was a modified version of #82.

Next on my list: Learn to "French Press" the Vietnamese way.

Because my man is super generous (and despite the fact that I already got a super adorable dress) he took me to REI after lunch for another pair of Vibram Five Finger shoes.
(Are you familiar with the term "the bomb"?

Since we were out all day - and because we're nearly 1400 miles away from my parents and their amazing baked goods - we decided to try out a bakery that my cousin recommended. We each chose something different and shared samples. It was OK, but I'm still craving something with either white cream filling or buttercream frosting. I was thinking more of a traditional bakery, but it was actually a deli/cafe setup with a dessert counter. The selections were abundant. I'd still go there, but not for a traditional bakery experience.

We didn't end up getting any more photos of the weekend, but it was surely a blast! When we finally dragged ourselves home, Craig and I headed to the gym for a workout, followed by a trip to Whole Foods. When I get him all alone in that store, it is such a fun time. I can pretty much ask for anything, and he'll say yes. We went on the right day. :-)

On Saturday, our homeschool group sponsored a pancake breakfast at a nearby park. The weather was beautiful, and we had such a great time visiting and meeting some of the other families.

After the pancake breakfast, we drove into the city to explore an exciting new family adventure. I'm not sure if we'll actually do this, but how else will I get a T-shirt and wear it with a clear conscience?

The rest of Saturday was spent visiting the military supply store, grabbing coffee, and a date out with Craig in the evening.

Today was equally wonderful with a great church service in the morning, followed by greasy burgers for lunch, a little of the Steelers/Texans game, and a shopping trip. Our family will be helping with a golf tournament/fundraiser tomorrow, and the boys needed new duds for that. Once upon a time, they always had khakis and polo shirts in their closet. I don't know what happened...

The "Oh-My-Word" Factor

It all began with a conversation. For some reason that escapes me at the moment, my mom was telling me this morning what my cousin ate in a restaurant a few months ago. It's all a blur to me now, but I do recall the words "cannellini bean puree". I don't think I heard anything after that.

My wheels started turning...

Fortunately, today was grocery day, so I was prepared to experiment.

The children have been heckling me lately for my food exploration. It has fallen upon the guilty ones to take full responsibility for our menu until further notice.

Caelyn determined the menu, I shopped (with helpers), and the "staff" will make a concerted effort to bring food to the table until I return from my strike.

... But I can't stay away entirely.

With my newest brainstorm nagging me, I went to work on a side dish this evening as the girls prepared the rest of our meal.

I kept thinking about that bean puree, knowing that it needed something to bring up the level.

Cauliflower.

Roasted.

Oh, yeah.

What else? Hmm... 

Eureka!

Roasted Garlic

I threw it all into the food processor with some Himalayan sea salt & cracked pepper...

... but it still needed something to make it "pop",
as they say.

Smoked. Gruyere.
(Thanks, Mo.)

I placed it into ramekins for individual servings...

Broiled it for two minutes, and...

Oh. My. Word.

I had to add this one because I just think it's beautiful.
This was a side item, as well, with a bit of salt.

Reunited, And It Feels So Good

There's been a bit of travel going on around here lately. Craig spent some time working in Houston recently. I had the privilege of joining him for part of that time, (Woo-Hoo!) but it seems like we've been separated for SO long.

That could possibly be due to the fact that 1 1/2 days after his return, I hit the road for a completely selfish pursuit.

I rationalized that, because I was taking three of our children with me, it was perfectly acceptable for me to do so.

Our special guest travel companion was my mom!

Some highlights from my mini-house-hunting-conference-attending-family-visiting-quality-time-with-husband trip to Houston:

It was marvelous to sit in a WARM breeze on the patio of a cafe and enjoy a yummy lunch with the sound of birds in my ears, while gazing into the eyes of this man.

I recommend the veggie panini at Cafe Express in Houston.

What a rich blessing it was to hear sound biblical teaching from Conrad Mbewe, known as the Spurgeon of Africa. It was a delight to meet and talk with his lovely wife, Felistas.

We were especially blessed to see the great speaker of the "Truth in Love", our friend, Voddie Baucham. We thoroughly enjoyed our brief time with his family and a few of their friends.

A very special aspect of the visit was partaking of some of Voddie's amazing culinary skills. For lunch, we had some of his leftover chicken curry (some of the best we've had - complete with his own homemade curry blend), and for dinner, we enjoyed his delectable gumbo. This guy is highly skilled in the kitchen, which, by the way, is nicely outfitted with lots of excellent tools and gadgets. (I'm hoping that Craig's competitive nature has been spurred on by Voddie's impressive knife collection.)

Spending time with Titus 2 women was such a refreshment for me. I went home feeling as if I had been to the fillin' station. I look forward to spending more time with Voddie's wife, Bridget, and her wise friends.

The men enjoyed a grand time of "iron sharpen[ing] iron".

Before my flight back to the 'burgh, we had a nice brunch outing with my Uncle Mo & Aunt Shirley; and my cousin, Tammy, joined us with her husband, Bo, and their sons, Tres & Morgan.

Some highlights of my trip to Ft. Wayne, IN, to join my friend, Lauren, for the Vera Bradley factory outlet sale:

Given the number of shoppers over the five days of the sale (we only attended two), I was very impressed by the organization by all of the staff. Other retailers could take some pointers for their Black Friday and other future large sale preparation.

It blessed my heart to have a fellow shopper ask about my purse that I carried. I was delighted to inform her that I had made it myself!

These are some seriously fun shopping buddies! Lauren's youngest son, Timothy, was such a good sport throughout our excursion. It's a wonder we didn't completely wear him out. After the sale, we headed to Panera for lunch, followed by an outing at Hobby Lobby (since there isn't one in Pittsburgh).

We occupied ourselves during our half-hour wait in line with photos, edifying conversation, and determining our plan of action for sale shopping. It helped that we had also gone the day before. That way, we weren't tempted toward impulse purchases, and we knew exactly what we wanted by this time.

I'm really not a die-hard Vera Bradley fan, but I do like some of her pieces. I felt silly even traveling to buy bags, since I enjoy making my own. Still, there are things I'm simply not going to make myself, and it was a fun excuse to hang out with Lauren and her precious family before our upcoming move to Houston.

Vindication: Craig's exact quote (about my travel bag, which was my priority at the sale) was,
"That bag is 'bad', I have to admit."
Yesssss!

I've been wanting one of these double change purses for a while, and I was pleased to NOT pay $25 for it.

I deliberated over getting this wallet, and on the second day of the sale, all of my shopping companions insisted that I get it for myself. They backed me into a corner. What else could I do?

I'm more of a Wal-Mart sort of purchaser of office supplies, but who could resist these adorable binder clips? I really don't care to know how far they were marked down on the final day of the sale...

Gabriela decided to stay behind at Lauren's house and babysit the other children with Craig Grayson. This was her compensation.

Craig's mom recently complimented one of my purses, so I bought this tote for her in the same pattern. She doesn't know it yet. :-)

Although I enjoyed my special trips, it was nice to again have our family all together.  I couldn't resist this moment with the children gathered around Craig.

Intramural Grocery Organization

Our children are SO fun! I love spending time with them! When they were all very small, Craig was in the Army, which meant that we didn't live near our extended family. I remember wishing that I could have my mom nearby so that I could go grocery shopping alone just once in a while. But alas, she was 800 miles away in those days! 

Now, I nearly have to beg someone to go with me. "More hands make light work", and I appreciate having someone to help load and someone else to return the cart (not to mention extra feet to run after the items on my list that I've inadvertently passed by).

I tend to get better results when I'm under pressure, so seeing that I was outnumbered in those early days by these precious treasures from the Lord (Psalm 127:3-5), I decided that I should train our children to happily join me on errands without the drama that is commonplace among young mothers shopping with little ones in tow. This, of course, meant that I had to be especially strict in the beginning, until they learned my system. 

For starters, as a homeschooling family, we have the freedom to shop during the day while others are at work or at school. I continue to enjoy this option, as it means that I can avoid crowds, for the most part. However, in the military community there are many retirees who also value the option of shopping in the earlier parts of the day. 

One thing that I've always tried to install in the children is the biblical command to be considerate of others:

"Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit. Rather, in humility value others above yourselves, not looking to your own interests but each of you to the interests of the others."

Philippians 2:3-4

In the commissary, this meant that they'd have to show deference to these honored veterans and their spouses as we meandered through the aisles. To solve this dilemma, I taught all ambulatory children to follow behind me, single-file. (It's funny -- to this day, I have to tell them to walk beside me; but of course, my boys take up the rear in order to "watch my back".) The others rode in the cart. Imagine the joy I felt when the Ft. Benning Commissary finally provided those nifty carts with the double-seat extension! At one time, I had one child in the regular cart seat, two in the extension, one walking beside me, and one on me in a sling! What a sight I was!

My second non-negotiable rule was that no one was allowed to make special requests. It's likely that I never would have gotten out of the store with all of the appeasement that would ensue, had I allowed them to make demands at those ages! I would occasionally reward them with special treats, but they had to learn to be thankful and obedient first. Again, they outnumbered me. :-)

Probably the toughest part for me was facing the possibility that one of these little sinners would suddenly decide to throw a tantrum in the store. Praise be to God, only one out of five of our children ever threw tantrums -- and only at home. (I'll save that story for a future post. Maybe.) Still, I never wanted them to think that it would be acceptable for them to whine, cry, pout, or otherwise display ungrateful or impatient behavior in public. I had a couple of speeches prepared to ward off any such inclination.

First, I'd remind them that we are 1) Christ's ambassadors (2 Corinthians 5:20), and 2) representatives of Dad's leadership in our home, when we are in public. I'd ask them whether they wanted to show, by their behavior,  that Craig wisely teaches and encourages our family, or if they wanted to portray a false image of a foolish father who disregards his biblical responsibility to raise our children in the "training and instruction of the Lord".

My final line of defense was to clearly warn our children that if they weren't too embarrassed to publicly behave like foolish children, I wouldn't be too embarrassed to publicly correct them. There has only ever been one challenge to this (as far as my memory serves); and by God's goodness, I emerged the victor, with the child unscathed. :-)

I'm thankful that the Lord gave me the chutzpah to face head-on the challenge of grocery shopping -- and all other errand running -- with five children in tow and no help. (In Craig's defense, he was usually at work or in the field during these times, but he was very generous in his off hours -- even to the point of taking over the evening bathing ritual so that I could exercise with a friend.) It all paid off in the end. We've always been able to take the children into nearly any situation and trust their behavior.

These days, they're almost all teenagers and they've become my buddies. I absolutely love being out with them. Most of our shopping rules have long since been relaxed or eliminated, and now I even consult them on some of my purchases. The girls have made a great contribution to the planning and preparation of meals, as well as grocery shopping for me at times.

As "big kids" they have creative ways of making the mundane more exciting. Today as we put away groceries and bags, they came up with a new kitchen sport. The above photo shows Graham holding the extension ring of my grain mill over a bag full of grocery bags. The others stood across the kitchen tossing balled-up grocery bags through the ring and into the bag. 

Morgan

OK, so I use a lot of canned beans. I've done the long dried-bean process for things like beans-and-rice or hummus, but I've found that it just isn't worth the time it takes.

Gabriela & Morgan

Craig Grayson

Graham

To my "guys" (which I call them, collectively), I don't know if you'll end up reading this, but thanks for making my load easier and my life more blessed! I praise our Father in Heaven for giving you to us! I'm coming to pinch your ears!