You know those sweet older ladies who love to give advice to young mothers? Well, I've become one of them (although I'm still pretty young -- and don't anyone forget it). Consider yourselves forewarned. Not too long ago, however, I was one of those younger mothers of very small children, receiving all the input. (And I'm really thankful for it, too. Where have those ladies gone? Younger women need them.)
When our first son, Craig Grayson, was born, there were two items of concern that were most frequently passed along to me about having sons:
1. Anything on the face bleeds profusely. (This made me wonder what I was in for; but it was our youngest daughter, Gabriela, who became the poster child for this advice.)
2. When they get older, it is expensive to keep boys fed.
Those ladies were right, and my friend, Cristie, and I have been brainstorming ideas to tackle this foretold plight. We're in Moçambique, so it's not as easy for me to keep up with the appetites of these metabolic anomalies. But in Utopia, I mean the US, it would be much easier. The cost of food in this, the fifth poorest country in the world, is astronomical -- unless we were to live on beans and rice. (Don't get me wrong. "Peasant" food is some of the best in the world, and there's a lot of historic value in it. Even a movie was named after one kind.)
When our nephew lived with us several years ago, he was constantly hungry, as are our boys now. Of course, Chase was older and maintained a rigorous weight-lifting regimen. When he needed a quick snack, he'd open a can of tuna. I've decided that for now, while we struggle to keep our pantry and refrigerator stocked, this will be one of the things that I'll keep on hand for our hungry boys when they come begging for a snack. One can of this tuna is just under $2US.
Today, the girls made tuna salad for lunch, and Caelyn noticed the eco-friendly label. This has escaped our notice until now. How nice it is to know that no dolphins are harmed in the process of providing a decent protein snack for my family.
As I come across good ideas for keeping our boys fed, I hope to share them here. Maybe there's even a reader who's interested in this topic. Please feel free to let me in on any secrets that have helped you in this area. Perhaps you have a hungry husband who can't seem to get enough calories in a day. How do you remedy the situation?
And now for Craig Grayson's anthem:
Took his knife and spoon and fork,
Ate a bowl of mushroom soup, ate a slice of roasted pork,
Ate a dozen stewed tomatoes, twenty-seven deviled eggs,
Fifteen shrimps, nine bakes potatoes,
Thirty-two fried chicken legs,
A shank of lamb, a boiled ham,
Two bowls of grits, some black-eye peas,
Four chocolate shakes, eight angel cakes,
Nine custard pies with Muenster cheese,
Ten pots of tea, and after he,
Had eaten all that he was able,
He poured some broth on the tablecloth
And ate the kitchen table.
His parents said, "Oh Hungry Mungry, stop these silly jokes."
Mungry opened up his mouth, and "Gulp," he ate his folks.
And then he went and ate his house, all the bricks and wood,
And then he ate up all the people in the neighborhood.
Up came twenty angry policeman shouting, "Stop and cease."
Mungry opened his mouth and "Gulp," he ate the police.
Soldiers came with tanks and guns.
Said Mungry, "They can't harm me."
He just smiled and licked his lips and ate the U.S. Army.
The President sent all his bombers--Mungry still was calm,
Put his head back, gulped the planes, and gobbled up the bomb.
He ate his town and ate the city--ate and ate and ate--
And then he said, "I think I'll eat the whole United States."
And so he ate Chicago first and munched the Water Tower,
And then he chewed on Pittsburgh but he found it rather sour.
He ate New York and Tennessee, and all of Boston town,
Then drank the Mississippi River just to wash it down.
And when he'd eaten every state, each puppy, boy and girl
He wiped his mouth upon his sleeve and went to eat the world.
He ate the Egypt pyramids and every church in Rome,
And all the grass in Africa and all in ice in Nome.
He ate each hill in green Brazil and then to make things worse
He decided for dessert he'd eat the universe.
He started with the moon and stars and soon as he was done
He gulped the clouds, he sipped the wind and gobbled up the sun.
Then sitting there in the cold dark air,
He started to nibble his feet,
Then his legs, then his hips
Then his neck, then his lips
Till he sat there just gnashin' his teeth
'Cause nothin' was nothin' was
Nothin' was nothin' was
Nothin' was left to eat.