Wednesday, May 5, 2010

This photo, from the archives, was taken on the infamous moment in which Craig followed his impulse to Jack-In-The-Box, just outside Houston, TX, on I-10. There I was, leaning over Craig, trying to see if there was anything fitting on the menu. There wasn't.
I'll never forget this day. I got sick from the two bites that I took of the awful burger I ordered. It was a long trip back to Huntsville, AL.

I've been feeling sick today, but no worries. Between the onion-rich salad that the girls made for me, my salsa, lots of lemon juice, an apple, and plenty of water, I feel that I should be better soon.

The Bible says that laughter is good medicine. Well, I expect to be cured after the paper Caelyn wrote for school today. The assignment was to write a dialogue. Well, hers has more than two speakers, but I won't fuss over a little detail like that. She's helped me to laugh at myself a little while reading a portrait of our family's peculiar ways. I hope you'll enjoy what she's written:

A Dialogue

[British Lit. Week #31]

If you lived in the Whitlock household, you would be a supporting actor or actress of a wonderful comedy. There are many tales to be told, but in this paper, I would like to amuse my readers with The Drive-Through Edition, starring Dad, Mom, and the five supporting actors and actresses, Caelyn, Morgan, Craig, Graham, and Gabriela. Our guest will be the poor cashier who has the unique opportunity to take our order...

Thank you for coming to ‘Bese-burger, this is Latifa speaking, how my I help you?

Ah, yes, one moment please... one moment, says my dad, as he leans back in and turns to all of us.

Latifa. OK. Yes, sir.

Dad: Oh! I am sorry, Latifa! How are you?... good, good. I like that name! In Hebrew it would be...

Latifa: Fine, thank you, sir. Oh ok...

Dad: What do you all want? Hurry up so I can give them the order.

Graham: I would like-

Gabriela (simultaneously): Um, Daddy? Can I have a double cheeseburger this time like the boys cause they arent much bigger than me and I was still hungry last time.

Dad: Ah, yes. I would like one double cheeseburger...

Mom: Craig! Gabby doesnt need that.

Dad: Excuse me. I am sorry I take that back. One single cheeseburger...

Craig: No, Dad! Keep the double cheeseburger but add another one for me and Bubba.

Dad: Oh, I am sorry. We do want that double cheeseburger but can you make that two..

Morgan: Three!

Dad: I mean, three. Three double cheeseburgers and one single burger.

Latifa: Ok, sir. So I have two double-

Dad: Three. I am sorry.

Latifa: “Ok... Three double (click, click, click) cheeseburgers and one single cheeseburger. Anything else,


Dad: Ah, yes. One moment please... Caelyn and Dayna what do you want?

Latifa: Im sorry, sir? What was that, again?

Dad: Oh, excuse me. I was talking to my wife and daughter. There are seven of us so it may take a minute.

Mom (leaning over dad to see the menu): I dont think I want anything. I will just wait until we go by Super Crunchy and I can get my asparagus and tofu salad with extra extra virgin grapeseed oil and garlic dressing.

Caelyn: May I just have a single burger as well?

Dad: Ok, maam. Thank you for your patience-

Latifa: No problem, sir.

Dad: Ok. Can you add one more single burger and then two 'Bese burgers, and that should be all. Thank you.

Latifa: Ok, sir. So I have two single burgers, three double cheeseburgers and two 'Bese burgers. Is that all sir?

Dad: Yes. Thank you, Larina-

Latifa: Latifa, sir. haha

Dad: Latifa! Man! I am sorry, Latifa.

Latifa: Thank you, sir. Please drive to the next window.

Dad: Do I pay where I get my food?

Latifa: No sir. You pay at the first window where it says pay here, sir.

[Huge white sign with red letters that say Pay Here]

Mom: Oh, Craig!

Dad: Yes?

Mom: Never mind...its too late. I was trying to get your attention.

Dad: No, Dayna, what is it?

Mom: That super twisty vanilla and chocolate sundae, with a double chocolate brownie, extra-rich chocolate syrup, and shaved chocolate dessert looked good.

The Five of us: Ooooooooooo!


Mom: aha! Well, while you guys look at the big print, I browse the other areas.

[We drive to the second window. Latifa smiles and tries not to laugh after seeing all of us.]

Dad: I am sorry, Concretia-

Latifa (grunts): Its fine, sir-

Dad: But could I add one more thing? My wife- she changed her mind.

Latifa: Yes, sir?

Dad: May I have the chocolate banana-

Mom: No! Vanilla!

Dad: Vanilla, super mega sundae-

Mom: super twisty-

Latifa (really fast): Oh! You mean the super twisty vanilla and chocolate sundae, with a double chocolate brownie, extra-rich chocolate syrup, and shaved chocolate dessert?

Dad: Yes! that! You are on it, -

Latifa: Latifa.

Dad: Con- Latifa!

Latifa: Thank you, sir. One more minute while I go back and make your sundae, sir.

[comes back after a few minutes. Dad hands her the cash.]

Latifa: Alright, sir. Here is your stuff. Have a good day. ...Yes, welcome to ‘Bese-Burger...


  1. Oh, Dayna....this was hysterical!!!! Tell Caelyn "Great Job!"...and I pray that you feel better soon, my friend!

  2. Sue, I'm glad you got a laugh out of it. I mentioned that it has more speakers than a dialogue. After thinking about it, I think Caelyn's point was to show that what was meant to be a dialogue between Craig and the cashier, was made into a multi-person discussion by the peculiar dynamics of our family when ordering food. And we NEVER have the order decided before approaching the window. Fortunately, we (they) very seldom eat fast food.

    Thanks for your wish of better health. I'm hoping to be better by tomorrow.

  3. Dayna - that is absolutely CLASSIC. I truly was laughing out loud and cannot wait to show Mike!!! I think we all must be related (ESP. Craig and Mike). I'm still laughing. Tell Caelyn she did an excellent job and thank you for sharing! It made my day to know it's not "just us"!!
    (still laughing..."I will just wait until we go by Super Crunchy..." made me snort!!)

  4. That was funny... I can see the picture of the dialogue in my mind because, that has happened to us as well... Tell Caelyn great job and thanks for the chuckle!!

  5. hahahaha! I love this Caelyn! So funny! I miss you all. :)